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Joke of the Day

"Trump's first act as president Gives away the First Lady's job to an immigrant. #ThanksDonald"

"Why did Hitler break up with his girlfriend? She was a nein out of ten"

"By starring this tweet, you agree to my terms of service.* *Unlimited** free***, surprise butt sex. **Some limitations apply. ***Not free."

"My elderly grandfather came over and complained of diarrhea. He repeatedly told everyone ""Shh"". It took us a while to realize he'd lost ""it""."

"A Morning After pill but for over eating."

"[date] HER: the last guy i went out with was as boring as a sack of potatoes ME: [gets up from table] my son is a potato"

"People say that you should drink white wine with fish.. It's not correct. People shouldn't drink with fishes."

"If honey bees make honey, what type of bees make milk? Boo bees...... My dad just told me this one"

"Why don't blind people go skydiving? It scares the hell out of the dog."

"I got mad at a rock today. I chopped it in half with my lightsaber. Now there are two rocks. Send help. Now."