2210

Joke of the Day

"Not sure if I should be more concerned about the son who locked me out of my bedroom today, or the one who showed me how to pick the lock."

"What did the sergeant say to the corporal? I need to see your privates."

"Death is not the end. You still have to dispose of the body and hide the evidence."

"I think that pedophiles are fucking immature assholes"

"I'm not Racist I love blacks, I think everyone should have one."

"Coaching my son's soccer team, I thought moms would be all over me - no! They are always, ""The popsicles are for AFTER the game."" Bitches."

"You can't choose your family but you can choose a hitman."

"Songs with lyrics like, ""We don't need sleep,"" why are you rebelling against naps? What are you--four?"

"There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence... As he jumped down he sneered at me and I thought, well, that's a little condescending."

"There's a French guy with tourettes syndrome who keeps yelling goodbye at random people. There's much adieu about nothing."