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Joke of the Day

"Friend: It looks like you're packing to go on an extended vacation. Where to, the Caribbean or Hawaii? Me: No, this is just my lunch."

"What is green and smells like pork? Kermit The Frog's finger."

"In honor of the Vikings/Packers game on Saturday... How can you tell if a Packers fan is mad at you? They grit their tooth at you."

"I thought the Undertale genocide run was comic, But than I met sans. ^I'm ^so ^sorry."

"What does a calculus teacher say when a student doesn't get it? Bro, do you even function?"

"I just want to wear futuristic clothes & run up to people, ask them what year it is and the date and run away screaming ""There's still time"""

"Do you know why I have airplane-mode turned on on my phone all the time? 'Cause I'm so fly"

"With all of this negativity in the media At least Charlie Sheen is staying positive."

"I was talking to a girl last night ... She was quite fat, but she had huuuuge tits. ""My eyes are up here"", I had to say, because she kept staring at the hamburger in my hand."

"Elephant meets a camel somehow. The elephant asks the camel why he has boobs on his back. The camel replies, ""You don't have much to say because you have a dick on your face."""