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Joke of the Day

"I won the meat raffle in the bar. Wasn't the answer my kids were expecting when they asked how I met their mother."

"A manual RT is like saying ""Hey check out this guy, but keep looking at my face. Please...don't ever stop looking at my face..."""

"What happened to the Pope when he went to mount Olive? Popeye kicked his ass."

"I like my dates like I like my women... ...across the street and unaware that I'm watching!"

"[speaking to an attractive lady] ""How can a beautiful girl like you be single?!"" ""Dave, I literally dumped you 5 minutes ago. Please leave"""

"What is a Muslim who works at Starbucks called? A Terrista"

"What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking after you slap it. (heard this somewhere)"

"My local bondage club was robbed last night... we were all left bound and gagged. We absolutely loved it."

"I REALIZED THAT I AM THE VICTIM After ten years of marriage, the wife asks her husband: - Honey, are you by nature a winner or a loser? - Honey, over the years I realized that I am the victim ..."

"My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met!"