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Joke of the Day

"What did they say about the pastry with the low IQ? He was Retarted"

"Me: My flight was canceled so I won't be home until tomorrow. Her: but you said you were just going out for milk."

"My Doctor says I need to start exercising religiously. So now I hit the gym on Christmas and Easter."

"I've been fired for a childish behaviour Apparently, sucking tits of my female coworkers wasn't such a good idea."

"Whoever invented popcorn deserves the Medal of Honor for not panicking after the first 45 seconds."

"Why did the football coach go to Aldi? To get his quarter back!"

"If intelligence runs in your family, I can only guess it tripped and fell before it got to you."

"Did you hear about the donut who split from his wife? She's terrible with the kids so he's filling for custody."

"On the sixth day of Ramadan, my true love gave to me A gay club and an AR-15."

"What does a lion at the beach have in common with Christmas? (as told by my first grade daughter) They both have Sandy Claws. BOOM!"