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Joke of the Day

"What's good on pie, but not on pussy? Crust."

"What's a Yankee? It's like a quickie except you do it yourself."

"One of my cats learned how to open doors and now he opens doors for the dog and I live in an 90's family movie."

"What was Hitler's favourite video game? Mein Kraft"

"Bernie has a fucked up Campaign Slogan. As a Jew, why the fuck would his campaign slogan be ""Feel the Bern""? Love the guy, best canidate, a bit flawed and optimistic. Don't kill me bernie bros."

"I always knew that I could never be a lawyer because of my inability to pass a bar."

"Listen up, single people. You can only sleep with so many people. Sooooo many people. So so so many."

"How can you tell if you have a high sperm-count? if she has to chew before swallowing."

"What did the scornful owl say? Twit twoo."

"The thing that frightens me the most about being brutally murdered is having Nancy Grace screeching about the details of it on primetime tv."