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Joke of the Day

"When a track star gets best time in a race they ""Break a record"" but when I do it I've ""Falsely entered a Special Olympics event""."

"How does Hitler like his Juice? From concentrate."

"Where is the best place to buy authentic shrunken heads? Brazil"

"How can you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber? You ask them to pronounce unionize."

"Jared Fogle just got arrested for Child Pornography Charges. I'm sure he'll be getting plenty of foot longs where he's going..."

"I never made it as a firefighter. I thought arsonists were people who hated arson, so every time we met one I thanked him for his support"

"Baloney, baloney, baloney... salami."

"I went to the doctor for a checkup. A friend asked ""Which doctor?"" I replied ""No, a medical one."""

"I don't know what base that was, but thank you TSA."

"Did you hear about the bread-less klansman who couldn't drink milk? He lacked toast and tolerance."