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Joke of the Day

"I'm not scared I'll end up in an asylum after a breakdown. I'm scared someone will record it on their phone and I'll end up on a GIF."

"What do you call a crab that plays baseball? A pinch hitter."

"History is his-story, rambled the tumblrina... where are the records of the deeds of women? that is a miss-story"

"God must be a Republican. He wasn't that into humans until He found His Son was one."

"I'd rather see a guy with a machete walking towards me than someone with a clipboard."

"The phrase ""A stone's throw"" has been discontinued. Please use ""In Wifi range"" from now on."

"One day Facebook, YouTube and Twitter will merge. It will be called YouTwitFace."

"A squiggly red line should appear under people who are wrong for you"

"When does a bed grow longer? At night because two feet are added to it."

"I've lost all my pokemon cards in a house fire... I've only got Ash now."