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Joke of the Day

"I'm not scared I'll end up in an asylum after a breakdown. I'm scared someone will record it on their phone and I'll end up on a GIF."

"Roses are red, Violets are Blue. I have one mom, Kylie Jenner has two."

"Reward: Lost Dog What kind of a reward is a lost dog?"

"Waiter waiter! There's a wasp in my dessert. So that's where they go to in the winter."

"When you really have to pee and there's no bathroom in sight... Urine trouble."

"Whenever your ex says, ""You'll never find someone like me."" You reply with ""That's the point."""

"I had a good Fallout 4 pun in mind... but I forgot it Radaway..."

"Knew a dude who back flipped and cartwheeled while beating his wife. I guess he was a misogymnast."

"Parallel lines have so much in common.... it's a shame they're never gonna meet."

"What's warm, white, and I drink almost every night? Warm milk before bed... Get your mind out of the gutter!"