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Joke of the Day

"""Mommy all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?"" ""No of course not. Now shut up and comb your face."""

"What do Cooperstown and Woodstock have in common? Cooperstown is where Baseball wasn't invented and Woodstock is where the festival didn't happen."

"Everyone gets my UDP jokes. Well not everyone, because sometimes people just don't always get UDP jokes."

"The police came to my house earlier and said my dog had chased someone on a bike... I said, ""You must be joking, officer. My dog doesn't have a bike!"""

"I'd work out, but I'm still trying to perfect my ""before"" picture"

"What do you get... ... when you cross an insomniac, a dyslexic, and and agnostic? [Answer](/s ""Someone who lays awake all night wondering if there really is a dog"")"

"I had to pick a password that was 8 characters long. I went with 'snowwhiteandthesevendwarves'."

"Why do bad break-dancers get reduced prison sentences? Time served"

"Everyone stop over reacting! There was no Earthquake.... I slipped in the shower, these things happen..."

"The Universal Miss award goes to Steve Harvey."