211077

Joke of the Day

"""Damn girl, you look hot"" Really? ""Like a sexy little italian car"" DID YOU JUST CALL ME FIAT?!?"

"I can cut a piece of wood just by looking at it. It's true, I saw it with my own eyes!"

"What do bees eat? Hum-burgers"

"What does a llama do when it goes on holidays? Alpaca ya bags."

"""We suspect you may have inability to vocalise emotion disease"" ""I can't say I'm surprised"" *doc strokes beard* ""Hmm yes.Just as we thought"""

"What's the best part about dating an epileptic? You don't have to pay for a vibrator."

"Joke stolen from West Wing Why do they eat only one egg at breakfast in France? Because one egg is *un uf*."

"Here's a joke I made when I was a kid: What do you call an empty anthill? VacANT! . . . I'm sorry."

"The ""impossible"" EM Drive works, space travel just became more viable. Yet Half Life 3 still unconfirmed."

"I just opened an Easy Bake Oven restaurant. Please call your order in, 17 hours prior to your arrival."