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Joke of the Day

"Your gene pool should be drained, the area bleached & the ground burned & salted. But other than that you seem like a great person."

"Tell us a scary story! Ok kids, gather around *holds flashlight up to face And I'll tell you all that is evil *puts wedding tape in VCR"

"How do you confuse a blonde? Give her a coloring book, and tell her to color in all the pages with a white crayon."

"They say behind every great man is a great woman. Never been that into pegging though."

"I called in to work and asked my boss what the difference between work and his daughter was. I'm not coming into work this morning."

"Girlfriend asking her Boyfriend about her looks Girlfriend: ""Am I pretty or ugly?"" Boyfriend: ""You're both."" Girlfriend: ""What do you mean?"" Boyfriend: ""You're pretty ugly."""

"""Two parents that will never give you their love and approval!"" -sad Buzzfeed post"

"""The world is full of nice people. If you can't find one, be one!"""

"What is the name of a bag pipe band that likes to play while jumping on squares? hopscotts."

"The worst part about being a giraffe is having a lot of time to think about your mistakes when you're sinking into quicksand."