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Joke of the Day

"Does your dog like children? Yes, but he prefers dog food."

"If I knew you in high school and your Facebook profile picture is a baby I'll assume you're Benjamin Button and unfriend you."

"*accidentally likes a hot girl's photo of a sandwich from 3 years ago*"

"Tuna are probably pretty annoyed with how much we worry about catching dolphins in our tuna nets."

"My cross-eyed friend was just diagnosed with depression. I'm not surprised - he never looks forward to anything."

"Don't have shower sex It's a slippery slope that leads to bath things"

"Home is where the heart is, and hopefully it's where all of the other vital organs reside too."

"What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass"

"What do the Chinese call their spies? Secret Asians."

"One person's trigger warning... ...is another person's spoiler alert."