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Joke of the Day

"When I was growing up, we were so poor that... Soap-on-a-rope was considered to be jewelry in our house."

"I'm giving up self control for lent It's going to be so hard!"

"Did you hear about the fat chick I fucked on the elevator? It was wrong on so many levels."

"Tip Of the Day: You can easily avoid bruising your thigh by not staring at a female jogger and then walking into a fire hydrant."

"ME EVREY MORNIG: nonono no noNO no NONO NO!!! ME EVREY NIGHT: u know wat wil make my morning amazing?! setting my favorite song as my alarm"

"A child drinks bleach, why is milk often given? To make them happy before they die"

"Do you know what my grandmother would be doing today if she was alive Scratching at her coffin"

"I don't get scatological humor. That shit isn't funny to me."

"Whenever I drink I turn into Jason Bourne. I can't remember much, fighting comes naturally, and I have a sudden need to evade the law."

"What did the Triangle say to the Circle? ""Your life is pointless."""