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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I drink I turn into Jason Bourne. I can't remember much, fighting comes naturally, and I have a sudden need to evade the law."

"Hey Spongebob, what's funnier than 24? 9/11."

"What do they pass around after dinner at Buckingham Palace? Under Eights."

"I'm so broke right now, if my gf leaves me for a richer person I'm going with them -__-"

"Q: What do a dildo and soy beans have in common? A: They are both substitute meats."

"Did you hear about the magic tractor? It went down a lane and turned into a field..."

"I tried to join the Kleptomaniacs Anonymous meeting but all the seats were taken."

"There used to be a superhero that could turn into furniture and wore a crown... He was sofa king cool."

"402 year old woman pulled out of Nepal earthquake rubble survives for 100 years without food or water Fucking one upping bullshit headlines."

"How do you know a white person is about to tell a joke? He's looking over his shoulder"