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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I drink I turn into Jason Bourne. I can't remember much, fighting comes naturally, and I have a sudden need to evade the law."

"I use to worry I was a nihilist... but then I realized I don't care."

"What is faster hot or cold? Hot because you can actually ""catch a cold""."

"What do you call a terrible pun? A puntastropie."

"What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb You can unscrew a lightbulb."

"What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? It was an udder disaster. ^(I'll show myself out)"

"I have more memory of my conception than I do of last Saturday night... though sometimes I really wish my parents hadn't done porn."

"What's Donald Trumps favorite juice? Orangu-Tang"

"What did the bee say to his wife? No on knows. It's a Mister Bee."

"How much energy does it take to create a rap star? 1.21 Jigga whats."