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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? You can unscrew a lightbulb"

"Census confirms... that one in two and a half men is HIV Positive."

"No one wants to hear about anyone else's niece."

"My girlfriend told me to take a spider out instead of killing it. We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer."

"[Interview] ""You were arrested for armed robbery?"" I had no choice. It's silly to try and rob a bank without your arms. ""We'll be in touch."""

"My sex change from male to female My sex change operation from male to female went really well yesterday. It was so successful, I'm still trying to reverse out the fucking hospital car park!"

"I let my blind friend borrow money He said he was gonna pay me back the next time he saw me..."

"Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy? It was Valenswine's Day."

"does anyone know what to do if you carve a pumpkin that is too scary. i cant go in my kitchen"

"Why do 19th century dancers repeat the last word in their sentences? Because they cancan."