26942

Joke of the Day

"My sex change from male to female My sex change operation from male to female went really well yesterday. It was so successful, I'm still trying to reverse out the fucking hospital car park!"

"What's the definition of a good tax accountant? Someone who has a loophole named after him."

"I'm not saying he ate the candy canes off the bottom of the Christmas tree I'm just saying my dog's breath was minty fresh this morning."

"I've always wanted to pursue a career in self-deprecating humor I'd go for it if I wasn't so fucking stupid."

"My son dropped this gem on me Son: Dad what's a cow plus 2 say? Me: Cow cow? Son: Twwoooooooooo"

"What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye, matey!"

"My waterproof phone is advertised in commercials with people surfing and kayaking and here I am tweeting in the shower."

"If peeing was an Olympic event, I would win gold. But then I would miss the awards ceremony because I was taking a leak."

"Teacher: What is can't short for ? Pupil: Cannot miss Teacher: and what is don't short for Pupil: Doughnut !"

"Why do Taiwanese students always do so well on their standardized tests? They've got a Taipei personality"