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Joke of the Day

"A Russian comes to the Ukrainian border. The Ukrainian border guard asks, ""Name?"" The Russian answers, ""Boris."" The border guard asks, ""Occupation?"" The Russian says, ""No, just visiting."""

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"I'am looking for a bank loan which can perform two things Give me a Loan and then leave me Alone"
"A person is sentenced to death by freezing It's justice."
"Did you hear about Lance Armstrong having a threesome? He was killing two birds with one stone"
"Being left-handed is unacceptable. It's just not right...."
"What side of the road do they drive on in ireland? None. They're so drunk and violent no one is allowed to drive."
"GOD: I call this Tupperware SATAN: remember when I let u crash at my place and u said u owed me one G: yes S: make the lid a little smaller"
"The Australian Cricket Team."
"Sketch artist: Any more details on the attacker? Me: No, that's all I saw *shows me it's just a picture of a fist* Me: *sobbing* That's him"
"A Spanish family surprised me by treating me to dinner. x-post /r/unexpectedcena"
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