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Joke of the Day

"Position of husband is like a split A.C. No matter how loud he is outside, but inside the house, he is designed to remain silent, cool & controlled by remote."

"He said I reminded him of the girl from The Ring. We laughed and laughed, and then I put an axe in his back and ate his soul."

"Big vote today in England. If Leave wins I predict : Brexit to be followed by Grexit. Departugal. Italeave. Fruckoff. Czechout. Oustria. Finish. Slovakout. Latervia. Byegium"

"I feel really bad for the Mexican Olympian disqualified from weightlifting for excessive use of protein. They told him, ""No whey, Jose."""

"Politicians are like sperm.. one in a million turn out to be an actual human being."

"Halal in the streets but Haram in the sheets. stole from a comment thread dont sue"

"Mario: I killed all your turtle troops.Bowser: Turtle what?Mario: All the turtles that work for you.Bowser: What turtles?Mario: Uh oh..."

"I like my women like a surgeon likes his patients Drugged and Unconscious"

"My dad always warned me about anal sex He said son this is gonna hurt"

"As a Chinese comedian many people ask about my opinion on our government... I can't complain."