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Joke of the Day

"I hate it when I'm having the most delicious meal in the world and someone walks into the kitchen and tells me to get out of their house."

"What does a mechanic do during a 1 night stand? He screws, nuts, and bolts"

"What does star trek and toilet paper have in common? They both fly around Uranus looking for Klingons' s"

"Last night I was laying in bed, looking at the stars... And then I wondered, Where the fuck did my roof go?"

"Have you heard of the new Lego Presidential Building Set? It's called ""My First Wall"". It comes with a few pesos as a refund."

"What happened when the reporter fell into the water? She became an anchor..."

"Lawrence starts cooking Lawrence checks Twitter Lawrence smells smoke Lawrence Fishburne"

"Where do intergalactic keyboards go to drink? Space Bars"

"Expeditions to Mars Russian expedition: ""Well, there is Mars."" American expedition: ""Well, there are the life forms. Disgusting"" Chinese expedition: ""Not if you know how to cook them properly"""

"Your vagina is so dry... ...That Native Americans do rain dances around it."