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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the pirate who used to walk the plank every night? Well, he couldn't afford a dog."

"The Magician The magician said he would disappear on the count of three. He counted uno...dos...but he was gone without a tres."

"Whats the difference between Eminem & Slim Shaddy Eminem would fuck you and Slim Shady would fuck you and your mom"

"My girlfriend has the hottest ass in the world. Me"

"I find it in poor taste that the 1am drive-thru attendant asks ""How are you?"" Not good, Maria. Clearly."

"Why does wally wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted."

"Tried new pain medication, and an hour later 3 penguins in military fatigues walked into the room and told me I need to kill Mussolini's cat"

"My friend's in a wheelchair and he acts like he's the toughest guy around. He can talk the talk, but..."

"What do you call sex with a french midget? Bone a petite"

"Why does Trump hate McCain so much? He heard McCain stayed in a Hilton for 5 years."