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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between Eminem & Slim Shaddy Eminem would fuck you and Slim Shady would fuck you and your mom"

"If someone was shot in a chapel... ...would that count as a mass shooting?"

"Why are turds tapered? So your asshole doesn't slam shut."

"Daddy, is Santa coming tonight? No sweetie, mommy has a headache."

"What do you get when you cross a Unitarian with a Jehovah's Witness? Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason."

"A human cannonball for the circus retired after 35 years of service. When asked if the man would be replaced, the owner of the circus said, ""No, only because it's hard to find a man of that caliber."""

"There's no better feeling than laying next to the person you love And they don't know you love them Or that you're in their house again"

"What's the difference between a horse? The orange has handlebars"

"20 years ago my parents had a traffic accident... and that was the day I was born"

"In light of recent events... ...I believe Adrian Peterson should start playing Major League Baseball. He'd be a great *switch* hitter."