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Joke of the Day

"It won't be the alcohol or cigarettes that kill me. It will be my inability to know when I should or shouldn't laugh at something."

"What do you call a deer that likes rain? A rain-deer. I know it's terrible."

"Maybe the Loch Ness Monster is really just giraffes that don't want people to know they like to swim YOU DON'T KNOW"

"What's common between Hitler and Taco Bell Both are responsible for gassing lots of people. _________ Source: http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/skeh8/taco_bell_on_420/c4eqbvj?context=2"

"I'm writing a poem about the first time I masturbated. Can someone think of something that rhymes with, ""I was taken away by an ambulance""?"

"Went to the hardware store today... I picked up a can of insecticide and asked the guy behind the counter if this was good for ants. Old man says ""nope, it'll kill em"""

"What do you call it when a prostitute makes paper birds? Whore-igami"

"There are two types of guys. Those who eat pussy and those who lie they don't eat pussy."

"What do you call a man who can smell the future? Nostrildamus"

"I challenged Superman to a fight. The loser had to wear his underwear on the outside."