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Joke of the Day

"There's a procrastinators contest First to claim the prize wins"

"What did the figurine say when the boot flew past her protective dome? ""That was a cloche call!"""

"How many koalas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, given that he's koali-fied for the job."

"You'd think the police would patrol this 'Knifepoint' place more carefully... Especially with all the rape and robberies that are committed there."

"How can you tell that your girlfriend is getting fat? She fits into your wife's clothes."

"What does glass taste like? Blood."

"Fun fact for you... 5 out of 4 people don't understand ratios..."

"At this point I feel like MTV is just trying to scare old people."

"You were all Pluto's not even a planet and now you're watching it from your space car all slow and creepy like. Jerk."

"I posted a joke via USPS... ...not sure if it was their fault or mine, but the delivery of the punchline was completely botched."