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Joke of the Day

"USERS: you're alienating the people who actually use your product TWITTER: likes are now florps USERS: what TWITTER: timeline goes sideways"

"Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? I still have to get up and take the disc out. It's like having a remote to open the fridge"

"If it was the choice between having the last pizza on earth or the last sex on earth, which toppings would you have on your pizza."

"How did Kurt Cobain die? With a Cobang"

"Come here you greedy wretch. I'll teach you to eat all your sister's birthday chocs. It's all right Dad I know how !"

"How do you get a little old lady to yell the F word? Get another little old lady to yell ""Bingo!"""

"[1994] The rejected Spice Girl, Pumpkin, sobs outside the studio. Little does she know that in 20 years their fans will love her the most."

"Heard this the other day. Made me piss myself even though im not American There's nothing worse than a 6.9 A 69 interrupted by a period."

"Why did the old lady fall into the well? Because she didn't see that well."

"What do Paint Samples and Michael Jackson have in common? They both come in little white cans..."