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Joke of the Day

"When I want to trim down my friend's list on FB I give my opinion and let nature do the rest."

"Did you hear about the courier who became a successful comedian? The jokes were nothing special, but his delivery was impeccable."

"""My husband's a talented voice actor & his brother's a makeup artist but nah this old lady is a different person"" -the mom in Mrs. Doubtfire"

"Me: What do you call sex in December? Wife: Don't say it. Me: ... W: ... Me: Wintercourse. W: (to judge) See this is why I need a divorce."

"What can a goose do that a duck can't do and a lawyer should do? Stick his bill up his ass."

"A little Italian grandfather comes up to Customs. The Customs official says ""Have you got anything to declare?"" He thinks a second and he says ""It's a nice-a day!"""

"Every time I see a skidmark in my underwear... I'm confronted with the fact that I shit my pants JUST A LITTLE BIT every day."

"A really hot girl walks into a bar... brb"

"'I've never done this on a first date before' I say as I start vacuuming his place"

"Maybe if Red Bull gave me buffalo wings i'd give a shit."