219460

Joke of the Day

"A priest, a rabbi, a nun, a doctor, an engineer and a blond walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""Hey, what is this, some kind of a joke?"""

"I help morning mall walkers get their blood flowing by chasing them down with a chainsaw."

"People have often asked the United States, What is your secret weapon against terrorists? We simply reply......Chuck Norris"

"""Can I take your order?"" Wait, take it where? ""No, not-"" I haven't even given you my order yet ""I mean-"" WHERE ARE YOU TAKING MY ORDER"

"What will they now call a dust-up in the LGBT community (wait for it ... wait for it ) a bruhaha, of course"

"World's shortest resign letter. Dear Sir, Waak! thuu. Thank You."

"Mark Zuckerberg screwed over his class mates and best friend. Do you honestly think he cares about your opinion on the new Timeline layout?"

"[The Price Is Right] Bob Barker: what do you think the price of this washing machine is Me:*lips firmly pressed to mic* Right"

"What are two things dinosaurs can't have for dinner? Breakfast and lunch. I'll show myself out now"

"OK it's like sure, I've MURDERED before. Big deal. Sue me. It's not like I'm a MURDERER or anything. I only do it socially."