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Joke of the Day

"Yoda: In the Light Side, the real power is. Luke: The Emperor controls the galaxy. You live in a swamp."

"(NSFW) What did God say when he walked in on his son masturbating? ""Jesus fucking Christ!"" I'll see myself out."

"I just named two flies in my house Buzz and Buzz Jr. If you want me to come to your house and name shit it's $20/hour."

"If you add 'ish' on the end of the time, you're not really late."

"Can someone give me a pun about death of a salesman. preferably about willy, but anything will do"

"if daniel day-lewis dies the doctors will hav to make extra sure he's dead. he may just be acting dead and no one woud ever kno"

"Why don't Dunkin' Donuts employees wear name tags? It wouldn't fit on their shirt."

"I started a book club. A coloring book club. There's a line to get in. We're never on the same page. Nothing's black & white. We're well red"

"Scat and feces... Different names for the same shit."

"How did the tugboat get AIDS? It was rear-ended by a ferry."