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Joke of the Day

"if daniel day-lewis dies the doctors will hav to make extra sure he's dead. he may just be acting dead and no one woud ever kno"

"Yo mama so fat... She takes up more mass than her thin friend."

"I liked The Hobbit books, but Harry Potter? That's a different story..."

"The movie Noah would be more entertaining if it was combined with Sharknado."

"Two Canadian hunters were driving through the country to go bear hunting. They came upon a fork in the road where a sign read ""BEAR LEFT"" so they went home."

"I can't believe that those two are still together after all that shit..."

"Hello? Yes, this is the chair store calling, are you sitting down? No? well"

"There's a sticky penis on my doormat... It must've come in the post."

"There's a new morning after pill for men... ...you take it the morning after you have sex and it changes your blood type."

"I can't pull rabbits out of a hat... But I can pull hares out of my ass!"