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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the guy who ate glass? It was pretty clear how he died."
Next Joke
"What sport does the kool-aid man play? Baseball; he's a pitcher."
"I now realize that my mom did not actually have eyes in the back of her head. She just did as I do, randomly yell out ""stop it"" every 30 min"
"A man goes to see his doctor. Man: Doc, I need to get some birth control for my daughter. Doctor: Is she sexually active? Man: No. She just lays there like her mother."
"You know what's messed up to find at the bottom of a jar of mayonnaise? A condom. haha"
"You never realize how boring life is until someone asks you what you like to do for fun."
"Who'll handle the Guantanamo closing? Same guys who did Circuit City?"
"I don't get laid on Saturdays. The last two words were unnecessary."
"The spork is the hermaphrodite of utensils."
"I made a belt from all of my old watches last night It was such a waist of time"