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Joke of the Day

"I'm glad Lassie wasnt my dog. I just want to watch TV, I don't want to be constantly rescuing people."

"Way to make a friend an Idiot Question: What do you do when you take a girl home only to find she has the largest vagina in the world? Answer: I squeeeeeze it in off course!"

"When my girlfriend's done wrong it's written all over her face. I have a flair for the dramatic, so I use a red pen."

"Russell Crowe never regrets cunnilingus He'll always be Gladiator."

"I figured out Inception, guys. The whole thing was really a movie."

"What do you call a litter of Corgi puppies? A Corgisbord."

"What are most incarcerated inner-city youths locked up for? Some bullshit"

"Engineers To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, some idiots used a glass that's twice as big than necessary."

"Cop: ""Excuse me have you been drinking tonight?"" Me: ""I've been draanking.. I've been draanking.. watermeloon.."" cop: ""surfbort"""

"What do you do with dead chemists? Barium"