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Joke of the Day

"Way to make a friend an Idiot Question: What do you do when you take a girl home only to find she has the largest vagina in the world? Answer: I squeeeeeze it in off course!"

"I saw a commercial on Animal Planet where animals were talking & that's all well & good but they totally got the giraffe's accent wrong."

"The more complex the handshake, the less complex the individual."

"Cooking two tortillas at the same time like some kind of Mexican DJ."

"I just got a new dog that's half Saint Bernard and half Pitbull He likes to save people and then kill them."

"What do you call a woman of the night playing a trumpet? A prosti-toot"

"5-year-old: I wish we all had infinity dollars Me: That'd wreck the economy 5: I just- Me: Go to your room until you understand inflation"

"My girlfriend let out a huge sigh during sex then I had to tape back the hole I punctured in her"

"Butter Joke There's a brick of butter and a fly, the fly was stuck on the butter. The fly says to the butter ""Hey butter , why don't you fly."" The butter says ""Because I'm not a Butterfly!"""

"I was two girls away from a threesome last night!!!"