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Joke of the Day

"I just started a new band called Prevention Everyone says we're better than The Cure"

"What is the difference between Ironman and Iron woman? One is a super hero and the other is a command. *I'll show myself out...*"

"Last night a movie theater was robbed of $1000 dollars. The thieves took one large bag of popcorn, a combo meal and a pack of skittles."

"Did you hear about the Chinese guy who moved to America and turned white? He was really disoriented."

"What do you call a fat, smelly hermaphodite who gives blow jobs under the bridge for a nickel? Well, YOU call her mom."

"What makes you sweat during the summer? A sweater."

"Him: let's play a game of rhyme. I'll go first. Romantic Me: Panic Him: Fun Me: Run Him: love Me: shove Him: this isn't going well. Me: hell"

"My wife asked me what I was doing today... ...I said ""nothing."" She said, ""You did that yesterday."" I replied, ""I wasn't finished."""

"I was having sex last night and had an epiphany right before I climaxed... I guess you could say that I came to a realisation."

"You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead."