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Joke of the Day
"I've finally found something my girlfriend's bum doesn't look big in... ... The distance"
Next Joke
"Life hack: McDonald's will deliver if you tell them that you are holding Ronald hostage for a ransom of [your desired food order]"
"Did you know that too much Viagra can also make you confused? Yeah - it happened to this stand-up comic - he told the room ... Thank you very much, I 'll be hard all week ..."
"What do you call a Satanist dancer? A ba'al-erina."
"me: ""i re-wrote pulp fiction"" director: ""wow ok"" [reads script] ""this is literally just pulp fiction"" me: ""i didnt say it was different"""
"LOOK AT HOW HE OUTGUNS ME http://xboxclips.com/Kolt+the+Don/f1dd03d5-32b3-4238-9134-393050b8d254"
"What is the same with you, a pet cat, and a pet dog? All of them are adopted"
"Stop saying ""I Wish"" and start saying ""I Will""."
"Mom called to tell me she is qualified to be a yoga instructor... I think that's a bit of a stretch"
"After a few days with family, a padded cell with WiFi sounds like the perfect getaway."