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Joke of the Day

"im thinking about submitting my butty cop movie script to miramax its about pee and his black sidekick poo"

"Hey Seattle, Wanna win the Superbowl? No thanks, We'll pass!"

"Beware of the half truth. You may have gotten hold of the wrong half."

"*For Harry Potter fans* What language do UPS men at Hogwarts speak? Parcel-tongue"

"What is a duck's favorite drug? Quack."

"*Holds an old lady's hand as I help her across the street* don't worry ma'am i'm sure the doctors can sew it back on"

"Tsunamis are caused by dolphins breakdancing to celebrate passing another IQ test."

"A young Jewish boy asks his father if he can borrow twenty dollars.... ..the father replies, ""Ten dollars?! What do you need five dollars for?!?"""

"What do you call a quadriplegic Canadian? A Can't-adian!"

"Boyfriend and Girlfriend are at a baseball game the boyfriend leans over the girlfriend and says, ""I'll kiss you on the strikes, if you kiss me on the balls"""