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Joke of the Day

"How I knew my GF was playing with herself on her period... I caught her red-handed."

"I just had the thought ""pfft. Your father can't die before you are born,"" and I believed it for a full minute. Because I'm smert."

"Two baby seals walk into a club..."

"Q: What's white, lumpy, and extremely dangerous? A: Shark infested mashed potatoes."

"Got into an argument with a cripple and won. He didn't have a leg to stand on."

"I've never been good when it comes to Greek mythology. It truly is my Achille's elbow."

"Hate the political process, not the politicians. Nah, who the f*#k am I kidding? Hate those politicians!"

"Three words are having an argument... Had, Made, and Did were having a very heated argument. They became more and more agitated as the argument went on. It was beyond tense... It was past tense."

"what's a pirate's favourite letter? you may think it's R, but his true love be the C!"

"WIFE: you can't just deep-fry everything ME: what do you mean? WIFE: I mean put down the cat"