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Joke of the Day

"For $11, you can come to my house and watch me shave. The plot is a little weak, but the 3D effects are amazing."

"[sign outside butcher shop: POLISH SAUSAGES - ASK US] ME: Yes, I'm here about the sausage polishing job?"

"My girlfriend is like my bike. Some black guy stole her from me too."

"On the periodic table, the elements are represented by two groups. The symbols and the atomic number. Law and Order: Atomic Mass Unit"

"I was trying to think of a pun about herbs and fish But it was neither the thyme nor plaice"

"What is an I.T teachers favourite drink? Icy-Tea"

"My Friend Has A Dyslexic Skin Condition My friend has a dyslexic skin condition. He wears his blood on his sleeve."

"Why did the vacuum get a raise? Because it sucked at its job."

"You know you have a drinking problem if the bartender knows your name.....and you've never even been to that bar before."

"Did you know if a person farts too much their ass turns blue! It's from the methane, just look at Uranus!"