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Joke of the Day

"Job interview Interviewer: What is your greatest weakness? Me: I'm brutally honest. Interviewer: I don't think it's a weakness at all. Me: I don't give a fuck what you think."

"If by ""be (your) girlfriend"" you mean ""catch spiders and hide them in your pockets everyday"" then yes, I'll be your girlfriend."

"Women don't know what they want. Men don't know what they have."

"On $15 I could travel the world.. of Warcraft"

"If I had a parrot I'd teach it to say ""I know where they buried the bodies"""

"Men read Playboy for the articles, women go to malls for the music."

"Right now, somewhere in China, someone is wokking their dog"

"A man goes to the pharmacy to buy condoms. The pharmacist asks: Do you need a bag? He answers: She isn't that ugly!"

"*cute bartender gives me back my credit card* ""No it's cool, you keep it"""

"What's the difference between a jew and pork ? Cooking time."