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Joke of the Day

"Haven't put on a bra in like... 5 days. Being a dude is great"

"I want to buy a Tesla Coil. Shocking, I know... But I feel really energetic around them."

"What do you call 2 accountants having a threesome with a girl? Double-entry"

"Why can't you lift weights on Monday? It's a week day."

"Where do blind parrots go for treatment? The Birds Eye counter!"

"Gynecologist defined The only person who looks for problems in a place where everybody else gets pleasure."

"*Police bust through door* -QUICK FLUSH ALL THE SUGAR -WAIT, WHY!? -I DON'T KNOW, THEY DO IT IN THE MOVIES!"

"Instead of going to couples therapy, married people should just join Tinder and see what a nightmare single people have to deal with"

"I'm white, but... Nope. Can't do one of those today. Look, I'm at a B&B on Cape Cod right now. I'm a fanny pack away from translucent."

"Why was the priest afraid of trigonometry? cos sin"