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Joke of the Day

"How many ""suh dudes"" does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. It's already lit fam."

"Why did Yoda need a stepladder in the chocolate shop? Because he was reaching for a galaxy far, far away."

"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize."

"I recently followed a guy from Ethiopia. BIG mistake. The only thing he ever tweets about is what he's not having for dinner."

"""Can you believe that after all that shit they're still together?"" Who? ""My buttcheeks."""

"Just a little poem for all the night owls up right now. Roses are red. Violets are blue. Go the fuck to sleep."

"Why does the squirrel swim on his back? To keep his nuts dry."

"People who are mad that we don't have hoverboards yet are VERY forgiving of the fact that we still have, like, racism."

"Why can't you make bread like my mother? I would if you could make dough like your father!"

"What do you call a fascist fish? Gill Duce."