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Joke of the Day

"Next on *Will it Blend?* Marijuana! ***Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr*** *opens lid* ""Ahh, you can *definitely* breathe this."""

"I know a great knock knock joke Go ahead, you start."

"If PETA is upset about Lady Gaga's meat dress, wait until they hear about what people do to that stuff in restaurant kitchens."

"My mother went to college. My mother had a strong career. My mother has traveled the world. My mother talks to the TV as if it's listening."

"Jokes about communism are funny... Unless you share them with everybody"

"What happens when you leave 50 lesbians and 50 lawyers in a room? You end up with 100 people who don't do dick"

"What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? He wiped."

"Take heed: Do not open this email There's an email that had begun circulating recently that is offering processed pork, gelatin, and salt in a can. If you get this email, do not open it; it's SPAM."

"Did you hear the rumour about butter? Never mind, I better not spread it."

"Read the tweet above this one and then the tweet below it. People paid FORTY-FIVE DOLLARS PER SHARE FOR THIS."