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Joke of the Day

"Has anyone had a glass of F5 lately? It's so refreshing."

"""Ok, I know this is creepy af but check this out.."" -first taxidermist"

"All I want is for someone to pretend to love me for who I am, then gradually change me over a period of several years until we both hate me."

"I tried to make the earthquake drill realistic by throwing glass shards and screaming ""You fuckers are dead."" I'm no longer safety captain."

"This guys talking about ""Calm down, everything happens for a reason"". Then he gets all angry when I punch him in the face. What a hypocrite."

"I asked Yoda: ""Are we going the right way?"" ""No, backwards, I am going."""

"What's the difference between Ann Coulter and a bucket of shit? The bucket."

"What is the best letter who represent a man? (A favorite joke of my mother) The Q because is a big zero with a small tail."

"spent the last 36 minutes yelling at this ugly little girl to get off my lawn before realizing it was my naked reflection in the window."

"What do you do with 365 used condoms? Melt them down, turn them into a tire, call it a Good/Year."