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Joke of the Day

"If you try to fail and succeed which have you done?"

"TIL that you can get dishonorably discharged from the Navy for boarding the wrong vessel just once Whoops, wrong sub"

"""Hey man, he's not worth it. He's not worth it,"" my friends say as they drag me away from a very hard to open jar of pickles"

"What do a Feminist and a Hockey Player have in common? They both change their pads after three periods."

"People used to laugh at me when.... I said ""I want to be a comedian"", well nobody's laughing now."

"The cats told me the reason we only have one life is because we're too stupid to handle nine lives. I believe this is true."

"If Ekans is Snake backwards and Abroc is Cobra backwards... What does that say for Muk?"

"My wife and I just renewed our vows of celibacy."

"People think it's great if you like kids but will freak out if you assign an age. I like 10 year olds. See? Creepy. I'll wait in the van."

"I've decided to run a marathon for charity. I didn't want to do it at first but apparently it's for blind and disabled kids so I think I've got a good chance of winning"