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Joke of the Day

"Hydrogen walks into a bar and yells ""Oh no! I've lost my electron!"" The bartender says, ""Are you sure?"" ""I'm positive!"""

"How many engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the bulb and another to talk about how complicated it was."

"What do you call a former CIA agent when a winter storm hits? Snowed-in"

"I've looked all over the Google and ""fuck you sideways"" is not French for anything, Sir."

"What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits a windshield? Its arsehole."

"Two parrots were sitting on a perch One says to the other... Do you smell fish?"

"THIS IS MY LOCKER ROOM TALK GUY: Hey, do you know if they supply towels here? ME: Please don't look at me, my shirt is off."

"After 20 years of marriage, I still get blow jobs. If my wife finds out, she'll fucking kill me."

"I just found out that those cows from the Chick-Fil-A commercials teach black people how to text."

"Toilet Stolen From Police Station... Cops Have Nothing To Go On"