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Joke of the Day

"-Do you take drugs? -No. -Ever tried them? -Never. -You seem very nervous. -I'm just not used to being questioned by a unicorn."

"Only a few years ago, the average parents had four children. Nowadays, the average child has four parents."

"I just read an article that says diarrhea is hereditary. Apparently it runs in your jeans."

"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... ...bah dum tsh."

"Do you know the definition of a bonehead? Someone who's marrow minded."

"How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer!"

"I'm tired of making fun of Mariah Carey It's so 2016"

"Then there was the guy who fell into a vat of molten optical glass afterdrinking too much. Just two glasses, and look what a spectacle he made ofhimself."

"A feminist, a crossfitter, and a vegan are all sitting at a bar... and I only know this because they won't shut the fuck up about it."

"What do you call alcohol in a bird bath? Tequila mockingbird"