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Joke of the Day

"Arguing on the internet is like running in the special olympics Even if you win, you're still retarded."

"The women protest movement this weekend was historical. I've never seen so many women have PMS on the same day."

"Your Facebook posts are like your children. Some go on to become successful and others make you look stupid."

"Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad."

"Why were all the computers in the company frozen? Because they let IT go"

"[bank robbery] ""Todd, where the hell is the getaway car?"" TODD: *zooming up on a Segway* FOSSIL FUELS ARE RUINING THIS PLANET, GARY"

"Bob: Did you hear about the camper who was killed by a garter snake? Betty: That's impossible. A garter snake is not poisonous. Bob: It doesn't have to be if it can make you jump off a cliff!"

"I'm not crazy, my reality is just prettier than yours."

"I'm trying to write a joke about unemployed people... It needs more work."

"What are pigskins used for? Holding the pig together."