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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't fuck my pizza before I toss it in the oven for dinner."

"Don't be that guy that tells people not to be that guy."

"What does Ukraine have in common with the iPhone 7? They both suffered the loss of one very important port."

"Playing the prequel to Angry Birds where the pigs fuck all the birds' wives."

"For a gentleman, Shakespeare really knew how to spread those thy's."

"Where can you find the speed of light? At C level"

"If gravity were a person... He'd be pretty down to earth."

"I'm glad it's the thought that counts because I spend all day thinking about the shit I should be doing."

"What's Anakin Skywalker's favorite animal? Well, it was cats, originally, but then he was turned to the dog side."

"Q: When Do You Hurt a Midget? When He is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice!"