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Joke of the Day

"It would be funny if after making love to Jennifer Lawrence she stood up & fired 50 or 60 arrows into my sweaty body."

"I put my underwear on like anyone else. Backwards, two legs in one hole, falling down then decide it's easier to go without."

"There's nothing more annoying than someone trying to live by their values"

"Is Lobster Bisque a good rap name?"

"Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. I came to work naked. I want to be a porn star. Now I'm just unemployed."

"How do you know when your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood."

"There was a murder at the mime convention Everyone was left speechless"

"4 y/o: What's your job? Me: I stay at home, take care of you, clean, cook the food... 4: That sounds boring. Do you want me to fire you?"

"Why don't black people go on cruises? They're not falling for that one again"

"[kung fu fight] ""Your tiger claw is no match for my crane."" *starts lifting heavy building materials*"