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Joke of the Day

"It would be funny if after making love to Jennifer Lawrence she stood up & fired 50 or 60 arrows into my sweaty body."

"What do you call an empty jar of Cheez Whiz? Cheez Waz."

"What does an astronaut say when he's sorry? All my Apollo-gies."

"Somewhere out there, a neurotic chicken wants to cross the road but is paralyzed by the knowledge that everyone will question his motives"

"I'm thinking of changing career and becoming a professional circumciser. . . The pay is lousy, but I hear you get plenty of tips."

"Twitter: Where #Hash is legal."

"[Jesus entering surf contest] Judge: What type of board will you be riding? Jesus: [looks at feet] They're using boards?"

"I was addicted to hokey pokey But then I turned myself around"

"If vegans are so smart... Then why do we call brain-dead people vegetables? p.s. Im sorry."

"Say the punchline first How do you ruin a joke?"