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Joke of the Day
"If you get ash on your clothing don't brush it off, blow ot off. Otherwise you'll just rub it in."
Next Joke
"It's so sweet that curtains spend all day as far apart as possible.. but then get back together at night because they're scared of the dark."
"I thought it was you A drunk guy is walking down the street. He sees this nun, runs up and knocks her over. He says, ""You don't feel so tough now, do you, Batman!?"""
"What you shouldnt answer when a parent asks you what to do if their baby wont stop crying I dont know, just foogle it"
"Wife: I can't find my phone Me: Want me to call it? Wife: Sure, I - Me: PHONE, HERE BOY"
"I took a piano lesson with Elton John... He was so nice, he even offered to push in my stool."
"A beautiful girl said hello to me. I replied 'thank you' before I could think."
"Apparently the first thing you should say after you back over your wife's foot is ""I'm sorry"" not ""I guess that means no sex tonight"""
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cargo ! Cargo who ? Cargo better if you fill it with gas first !"
"KFC Team Member: Anything else? Me: More gravy please, I'll say when [several hours later] KFC TM: WE'RE GONNA DROWN M: I didn't say when"