217498

Joke of the Day

"the phone in the guy's hand next to me rang, it sounded like my alarm clock, I yelled fuck and smacked it out of his hand on pure reflex"

Next Joke
 
"Just be yourself. All the good personalities are taken."
"How do you stop Caitlyn Jenner from jumping on your bed Staple his ballbag to the ceiling. LOL"
"What's another name for dick pics? Junk mail!"
"Whenever someone asks if I'm a robot I tell them no I'm androidgynous."
"I saw some girl texting and driving the other day and it really pissed me off... ...so i rolled down my window and threw my beer at her."
"Why can't the Chinese be Nazis? Two Wongs don't make a Reich"
"What's the most common career choice among spiders? Web development"
"So, if someone who works for the Postal Service did an AMA and answered every single question... ...does that mean OP delivered?"
"The Band "" The Ghost Inside "" bus was just involved in a fatal crash I guess that means there could literally be a Ghost Inside, the bus."