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Joke of the Day

"So it's been a few days since Phil and Ken got married under Irish law... And already Phil wants to Kilkenny"

"What's worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm!"

"Why can't a soldier look wistfully across the horizon? Because there are no gaze in the military"

"what has nine legs, four feet and orange? Nothing, fuck off"

"How do you get three popes into a Volkswagen? You take off their hats"

"What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? A bad golfer goes *whack* ""damn"" and a bad skydiver goes ""damn"" *whack*"

"What do a necrophiliac and an alcoholic have in common? They both like to crack open a cold one"

"A man is alone in a forest with no woman within earshot Is everything he says still wrong?"

"A monster walked into the council rent office with a $5 note stuck in one ear and a $10 note in the other. You see he was $15 in arrears."

"How do you know someone's an engineer? No worries they will tell you"